Tips for talking about and preventing suicide
Starting a conversation about suicide, even briefly, can make a meaningful difference. It can help someone feel seen, heard and supported enough to reach out for help. Here are some tips you can use if you’re concerned that a friend, roommate or classmate may be struggling or thinking about suicide.
Know the warning signs
There are sometimes subtle or more obvious signs that precede suicidal behaviors. Knowing potential warning signs and ways to intervene can dramatically reduce the risks of suicidal behaviors.
Here are some signs to watch out for:
- Withdrawing from friends, family or peer groups
- Neglecting their appearance or hygiene
- Sudden changes in academic performance (like cutting class, missing assignments, etc.)
Significant behavioral or emotional change
- Acting recklessly or engaging in risky behaviors
- Engaging in self-destructive behaviors
- Increased substance use
Being unable to sleep or sleeping all the time (including in class)
- Talking or writing about death, dying or suicide
- Expressing feelings that life is meaningless or there is no reason to live
- Feeling desperate or trapped, like there is no way out
- Comments about being a burden on others
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Giving away possessions
The above signs could indicate that someone is struggling and if you notice these comments or behaviors, there are things you can do to support the person who is struggling, as well as help them connect with resources.
Share your concerns
If you’re concerned about someone and feel comfortable talking with them, gently share what you’ve noticed and your desire to help. Try to arrange a time to meet with them privately to discuss your concerns. It can be helpful to provide concrete examples of behaviors that you’ve noticed. For instance, you may say “I’ve noticed you’ve been struggling to go to class recently” or “I’ve noticed that you haven’t been spending as much time with friends lately.” Acknowledging their distress can help open the door for conversation.
If you’re not sure how to approach someone or start the conversation, check out . This training is designed to help individuals assist someone experiencing mental health or substance use concerns or crises. Participants will learn about risk factors and warning signs, engage in experiential activities, discuss professional and self-help resources and practice a five-step strategy to provide support.
If you’re not comfortable approaching someone with your concerns, consider filling out an online referral for Student Outreach, Advocacy & Support (SOAS). Their office can reach out to students to follow-up and provide additional support.
While SOAS is a supportive resource, it is not a crisis or emergency office—learn more about emergency and crisis care.
Ask the question
When talking with a friend or peer, don’t be afraid to ask directly about suicide or self-harm. Contrary to what we may think, talking about suicide directly isn’t going to plant the idea in their head. If they have been thinking about suicide or self-harm, asking them about it can be a relief and an opportunity for them to talk about it more openly.
When you ask, express your care by saying something like “I’m asking because I care. Are you thinking about suicide?” If they aren’t, they’ll let you know. Asking someone, even if they aren’t thinking about suicide, lets them know that it’s okay to talk about it in the future if things change. If they are thinking about suicide, it’s likely time to help them connect with resources on campus.
Remember that you don’t have to carry the weight of someone else’s mental health or suicidal thoughts. If a friend communicates that they are thinking about suicide, or if you are concerned for their mental health, you can callCounseling & Psychiatric Services (CAPS)any time for additional guidance and support.CAPS can support students, families and faculty or staff if they are concerned about a student.
Listen
Listen without judgment and resist the urge to give them advice. It’s important to understand someone’s pain and what they’re experiencing. Keep in mind that suicidal thoughts are often short-term and specific to a situation. In many cases, they are an attempt to control or manage significant pain. When the pain subsides, the thoughts of suicide often lessen with it. However, understanding the source of someone’s pain can also help us better support them and connect them with resources.
Manage your emotions
Talking about suicide can be nerve-racking, especially if someone says they have considered suicide. However, it’s important to manage your own emotions. When we project our own fears or anxieties, it can cause the other person to shut us out or become more distressed. Instead, try to reiterate your care and concern. Let them know that you are there for them and you want them to be okay. Remember that crisis resources are available to support you and your friend.
Instill hope
Let the person know that there are resources available to help them and things can get better. Don’t be afraid to call for help immediately if you’re worried about someone’s safety. Here are some on-campus resources that are available to help students who are struggling with mental health concerns or thoughts of suicide.
Welfare checks
Welfare checks should be considered when you are significantly worried about someone’s safety due to their recent behavior, or statements, and you or another friend or loved one are not able to contact them or ensure they are safe.
Welfare checks can be performed by any police department if you’re concerned about the health, safety or welfare of another person. Be prepared to give the exact address where the person is located (residence hall and room number if on campus) as well as the reason for your concerns.
- On campus: CUPD 303-492-6666
- Off campus: 91ɫ Police 303-441-3333 or the person’s local police department
Depending on the police department, they may bring a mental health co-responder with them to help assist with the situation. It is highly recommended that you ask for a co-responder when you call for a welfare check. For example, CUPD and 91ɫ Police both routinely have mental health co-responders assist with mental health related calls. The police and co-responder are not there to get anyone in trouble, but to make contact and ensure the person is safe and offer resources and support. They may help the person contact a friend or family member for support, and/or help them make a plan for care. While police and co-responders are there to help, it is also important to consider whether the police are the right intervention. Not everyone feels safer when the police are called.
Emergency/urgent resource
If you need urgent or same-day support for yourself or a friend, Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS) provides crisis support 24/7. Call 303-492-2277 to connect with a crisis counselor.
Urgent resource
Student Outreach, Advocacy & Support provides support for Buffs throughout their time at 91ɫ. They are here to help students identify issues and appropriate resources. They also work collaboratively with students to develop an action plan.
If a student is struggling, Let’s Talk is a great way to get connected with support services. They can meet one-on-one with a CAPS counselor for a confidential consultation that can help them gain insight and connect with additional resources on campus.
If a student is struggling, workshops are a great way for students to learn coping skills related to anxiety, stress and other painful emotions. Workshops are available throughout the week and are covered by the student mental health fee.
OVA provides free and confidential information, consultation, support, advocacy and short-term trauma-specific counseling services for students, grad students, faculty and staff who have experienced a traumatic, disturbing or life-disruptive events/incidents.
WellTrack Boost is a free app that is available to all 91ɫ students. It is designed to help you understand your mental health and to provide you with the help that you need online. This app address issues like stress, resiliency, anxiety and/or depression. WellTrack Boost is a self-guided and interactive way to manage your mental well-being.